Let’s get real for a moment. No fancy lessons. No cheery you can do this! messages. Let’s talk about fatigue.

It happened this week. I was fine when I walked into school, but then suddenly, out of the blue, I started crying.

In. The. Middle. Of. Class.

And once I started, I couldn’t stop. I had to leave the room to compose myself. Except, that when I left the room, I just cried more. The fountain had been turned on and there was no stopping it. One student came and checked on me. Then another. Their care just made me even less able to control the crying. I’m one of those don’t-be-nice-to-me-or-I-will-cry kind of people.

The first student who checked on me made the effort to check back in with me at least once that day. And not only that, he went to our amazing school social worker to let her know I needed someone to talk to because I was having a bad day. She did stop by and after talking for a few moments, suggested that I might have compassion fatigue.

What is Compassion Fatigue?

Compassion Fatigue describes a type of stress that results from helping or wanting to help those who are traumatized or under significant emotional duress.

Compassion Fatigue is closely related to burnout but is less predictable. The onset is often sudden and can take a spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional toll on those who experience it. Empaths (those who acutely feel the trauma, stress, and emotions of others) are particularly at risk of developing Compassion Fatigue.

Common symptoms include:

Chronic exhaustion
Depersonalization
Feelings of inequity
Irritability
Feelings of self-contempt
Difficulty sleeping
Weight loss
Increase in emotional intensity
Take on social justice issues
Don’t take breaks
Headaches
Poor job satisfaction

Wow. Looking at this list, I can see T-E-A-C-H-E-R written all over it!

Chronic exhaustion? I don’t know a teacher who isn’t exhausted this year.

Feelings of inequity? Yes. Many feel that they are putting their lives at risk so the economy doesn’t suffer even more. Just scroll through social media posts and you can see the fear and despair of so many. Is it fair? Not by a long shot.

Feelings of inequity for my students? Oh my stars. The divide between the haves and the have-nots is growing at an alarming rate right now. I worry about the future consequences that poor access to internet is causing some of my students. This is a social justice issue if I’ve ever seen one.

Irritability? Definitely.

Difficulty sleeping? Yes! Either too much or too little. Never the right amount.

Increase in emotional intensity? Check. My response to the stressor of my students not being engaged was extra big this day compared to the offense of their lack of engagement.

The list goes on. And many teachers I know have many of these symptoms. But one that is the hardest for me is self-contempt.

Self-contempt.

I don’t know about you, but I have a vicious monster living in my head that reminds me frequently that I’m not doing enough, I could have done this or that so much better, and that I’m just not good enough at what I do. This monster is relentless. And it is never kind. Quotes from my monster include:

“Why can’t you reach these kids?” Even though they tell me how much they enjoy my class. Even though they come to me for help and support. Even though I can see the exhaustion in their glassy eyes that prevents them from learning ANYTHING.

“You’re such a fraud.” I have shared quite a few lessons lately and have heard back that they are helpful to teachers around the country. This day, though, these lessons were NOT reaching my kids. They could have cared less about Christmas traditions around the world. “How can you possibly expect people to take you seriously if you can’t even engage your own students?”

“You’re a failure.” Ouch. This one really stings. The perfectionist/control freak inside me has a super hard time with failure. I preach to my students that failure is important in life. That the only way we learn and grow is through failure. Me, however? Serious fear of failure right here.

Can Compassion Fatigue be prevented?

Yes, it can. I’m thinking it will be particularly challenging this year and shouldn’t be attempted on my own. Self-awareness can help. But the sudden onset of compassion fatigue makes this one difficult. Learning to recognize changes of behavior both inside and outside of work is important, as well. Developing mentor relationships at work is key. Reaching out to a trusted person experiencing the same stressors as you is crucial. I am so lucky to have kind, caring, and compassionate co-workers (and obviously students!) at my new school. I know that no matter what, they have my back. That, more than anything, is pulling me through right now.

Want to learn more about Compassion Fatigue?

Check out these sites:

If you feel you have some (or all) of these symptoms, please talk to someone.

And remember…

It’s OK to not be OK.

This is an unprecedented time. No one knows when it will end. No one knows what the new normal looks like. There is no STANDARD we can live up to or strive for. We can only do the best that we can do each and every day. And sometimes that best is is less than adequate. But guess what? That’s OK. Show yourself the same grace and mercy that you show your students.

Ignore that vicious monster. What does it know, anyway?